First, some quick-fire valentine’s day facts;
The first Valentine Card was posted around 1806.
Almost one billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year on or near February 14.
Females typically purchase around 85% of the cards whilst men tend to buy most of the gifts.
This week on Friday is the 14th of February. For many this date instantly brings the exclamation of ‘ah, Valentine’s Day!’ Gifts are exchanged, poetry is written, and flowers and chocolate sales skyrocket. Scratch below the surface and the story behind the day of love is, however, not so lovely.
Is it, then, a holiday that we ought to be celebrating or skipping?
Who was Saint Valentine?
There are multiple accounts of men in history with the name Valentine, multiple accounts of men with the name Valentine being martyred, and multiple accounts of men with the name Valentine being martyred on the 14th of February1. So, where does the legend of a love-filled saint come from?
Was he a lover in lock-up?
Was he a beheaded bard?
It is all total legend devoid of any truth?
One Valentinus (Valentine) was bishop of Terni in Umbria, Italy (funny how these stories often begin with a bishop). After a miraculous healing that brought a family to faith he was, rather unceremoniously, beheaded.
Other legends have Valentine conducting marriage ceremonies in secret at the express prohibition of the emperor, others have him as someone who wrote love notes to a jailer’s daughter whilst incarcerated (‘Love, your Valentine‘).
In a day and age where hype often trumped history and fabulousness defeated fact it’s hard to know for sure who was who and what was what. Perhaps, as some think, the day was brought in by the church to conveniently replace a denounced and damned pagan festival: Lupercalia2?
Whatever the origin, here and now, you and I, what can we take from the life of (the reported) Saint Valentine and his memorial day?
What happened to produce the holiday we know today?
First, the church added Saint Valentine’s Day to it’s official calendar in the fifth century. By the High Middle Ages (1000-1300) the association between Valentine and his acts of love had become stronger meaning that when Geoffrey Chaucer wrote The Canterbury Tales in the very late 1300s the connection of was, it seems, solidified:
“For this was on seynt Volantynys day. Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.”
Societally, Valentine’s Day came at a time of year when Spring was on the horizon, feelings for others first thawed with the harsh winter frosts and then blossomed with the coming flora. It seems that many used the feast day of Saint Valentine to put to paper feelings that were growing in them as the world was changing around them. Add to this some Shakespearean declarations of love with a connection to Valentine (Ophelia in Hamlet3) and a tradition had taken hold.
Letters of love are still written today on the 14th of February and declarations of love are still made, often with the aforementioned gifts. The excitement of a note from a valentine is still there for some, even if the memory of the martyrdom has faded.
Why should Christians celebrate Valentine’s Day (or not)?
There is no Scriptural reason why Christians today should not participate in the traditional giving of flowers, chocolates, cards, and gifts to loved ones on the 14th of February.
For the believer, as with any societally celebrated but Scripturally absent holiday there is a measure of liberty and free will (Romans 14). The decision is between the individual and God. If we choose to celebrate, holidays are not to become idols in our lives or tools for division amongst us, but we certainly do not fail our faith if we buy some flowers for a loved one this Friday.
There are many positives to showing others that you love them by taking action (1 John 3.18). Some might not pick up on the subtle shows of your feelings, others might prize action over simple affirmation, for example.
Think for a moment on just two examples that show how God took action to show how much He loves you;
“…this is the way God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world should be saved through him.”
(John 3.16-17)
“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her…”
(Ephesians 5.25)
As Amy Carmichael, an Irish Christian missionary in India, is quoted as saying:
“One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving” 4
Giving a gift to demonstrate that you love someone is, simply, a godly thing to do. When we give gifts to show love for someone we emulate the greatest gift ever given in love: the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. There is, simply, nothing idolatrous or divisive about giving a gift to someone this Friday on Valentine’s Day if you intention is to simply express your love for them. It’s a nice thing to do (Galatians 6.9), helps others to see how you feel about them (1 Thessalonians 5.11), and emulates the great gift of grace that is the person and the work of Jesus (Romans 6.23).
Links and References
1 – https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/gory-origins-valentines-day-180968156/
2 – https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-rome/lupercalia
3 – https://www.folger.edu/explore/shakespeares-works/hamlet/read/
4 – https://womenofchristianity.com/quotes/amy-carmichael-quotes/